Not Giving Up, Just Giving In
by alwayshp
Summary: SiriusxLily oneshot. Will Sirius and Lily finally open up to each other about what is really going on?


"I'm off to visit Dumbledore," James said as he grabbed his coat off the rack.

"Alright. Will you be home for dinner?" Lily asked, not looking up from the _Daily_ _Prophet_.

"Probably not. You know how things get. Dumbledore talks forever."

"Alright," Lily said uninterested.

James turned to look at his wife before he walked out the door. Something was definitely off with her lately, but he just couldn't quite put his finger on it. He decided not to worry about it, as Dumbledore had important things to discuss with him.

"Bye, babe," James said before walking out the door.

The door shut with a thud, and Lily let out a breath she did not realize she had been holding. Somewhere in the time they had gotten together in their seventh year and in the eight months they had been married, they had lost the passion. He was the perfect gentleman to her—always making sure she was well cared for. She didn't have to work as he had a substantial fortune. He raised his voice with her. But that was it. There was no fire, not even a spark. Maybe they had gotten caught up in the fairy tale of their romance.

Just then, a heat began rise in her trouser pocket. She pulled out the galleon that had been charmed with the Protean charm that allowed her to secretly communicate with one in particular.

_Is he gone?_

_Not today_

_Come on, Lil. I know Dumbledore needed to talk to him._

_Doesn't matter. Not today._

Lily put the coin back into her pocket and tried to focus on reading the paper. She was interrupted a few moments later to a tall, dark figure coming out of the floo.

"I thought I told you not today, Sirius," she said in exhasperation.

"Lily, you know we both need each other," Sirius said, running a hand through his unruly dark curls.

"I don't need you or anything from you. I have everything that I could ever want." Lily winced inwardly at the outright lie and the harshness with which she said it.

"You know that isn't true," Sirius said quietly.

"I'm sorry if that isn't the answer you want, Sirius. I just can't do it anymore." Tears were beginning to well up in Lily's green eyes.

"We go through this every time, Lily and every fucking time, you give in. Why don't we just cut the crap already," Sirius was now beginning to get angry.

"I can't just cut the crap, Sirius. I'm fucking married! I am being disloyal to the man that has given me everything. I have a good home, someone to look out for me, someone to come home to every night—"

"Obviously, he doesn't give you everything, seeing as we still get together once a week when he has these meetings."

"Sirius…" Lily managed to choke out, coming over to place her tiny hand on his arm.

Sirius snatched his arm away as if her contact had burned his skin. "Don't Lily. Honestly, tell me what you think of me. Am I just some guy you fuck because James isn't good in bed or do you really have feelings for me?"

Lily hesitated before answering. "Honestly, I want you physically more than I have ever wanted anyone."

"Is that all I am to you? A fuck buddy?" Sirius looked pained.

Lily turned away from him, unable to hide the tears in her eyes.

"You know what I think, Lily. I think you do have feelings for me and that scares you. You are stuck in a passionless marriage with what you thought was the 'perfect guy.' I'll be honest. James is my best friend in this entire world and nothing will ever change that, but hell, Lily. I'm so fucking in love with you and it eats me alive. It kills me to see you sit and home and be this housewife that is just for looks. You deserve to have adventure in your life. You deserve to be the fiery redhead that you were before you gave into James' charm."

Lily turned to face Sirius once more, too stunned to speak.

"And you know something else," Sirius continued, "I think you are in love with me too and you are just afraid to admit it. You are afraid that it will push me away or that admitting it will make it real. I think-"

"Sirius, I'm pregnant," Lily said in a no nonsense voice.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks. "You're pregnant?"

Lily could only nod.

"Is it his or mine?"

"I don't know," Lily said as she collapsed to the floor in a fit of sobs.

Sirius, forgetting he was angry, immediately dropped to the floor and pulled her into his arms.

"Shhh, it will be alright," Sirius cooed as he tried to soothe her.

"You don't get it, Sirius. I can't tell James that it isn't his! We are married. Everyone will think it is his anyway. Hell, it may even be his. Nobody knows about us, nobody can ever know about us."

Sirius was at a loss for words. He hated seeing the one he loved so upset and in pain. So he did the only thing he knew to do—he kissed her.

Lily was caught off guard by the kiss at first but soon relaxed into the familiarity of Sirius. Sirius kissed a trail down to her jaw, slowly beginning to caress her sides.

"No matter what happens," Sirius said in between kisses, "no matter whose kid it is, I will always be there for you and for him."

"Take me to bed, Sirius," Lily said, crashing her lips to his. She wanted nothing more than to be lost in a fit of passion with Sirius.

Sirius hesitated for a minute before giving in. He wanted nothing more than to be one with the one he loved.

He carried her up to the bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. He climbed on top of her, careful to not bare his full weight on her. He slowly discarded her clothes.

"You're perfect," he said before bowing his head to capture one of Lily's breasts with his mouth.

Lily moaned at the contact and threaded her fingers through his thick head of curls.

He gave expert attention to each nipple before moving down to where Lily truly desired for him to touch her.

He slowly began to move his fingers along her already wet folds, teasing her in ways that only someone familiar would know. Not a word was said between them. Nothing had to be said.

When she was ready, Sirius slowly inserted one finger into her core, moving it in and out swiftly. Lily moaned and lifted her hips off the bed to get more contact. Sirius inserted a second and a third, driving Lily mad.

"Sirius, I'm cumming," Lily shouted.

Sirius began to pump his fingers faster until he felt her walls clamp around him. Not giving her time to fully come down from her high, Sirius discarded his own clothes and lined himself up with her entrance.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Always," she said breathlessly.

Sirius plunged into her, both moaning at the much needed contact. With Lily being so sensitive from her previous orgasm and Sirius having already been pushed to the brink emotionally today, they both knew it wouldn't last long. Sirius pumped in and out of her at a quick frantic pace—his eyes never leaving Lily's.

"Holy shit!" Lily screamed as she orgasmed once more. Sirius grunted and shot his seed into her.

Both lay entangled in each other, breathing heavily.

"Sirius, we can't do this anymore," Lily said beginning to cry once more.

Sirius had known this was coming. "I know…" he said slowly before getting off the bed to put on his clothes.

Lily watched him with tears streaming down her face. Sirius in turn was dressing as slowly as possible, not wanting to leave for what might be the last time.

He leaned down to kiss her once more, a tear slipping from his own eyes onto her cheeks.

She watched him walk out of the room then heard the flame of the floo. Unable to bear his absence, Lily rushed over to where Sirius had discarded her pants. She fished out the coin and wrote

_I love you_

A reply did not come immediately. She was overcome by another fit of sobs until she fell asleep from exhaustion.

A burning sensation woke her. She looked at the coin.

_I love you, too._


End file.
